Last week, I wrote about some crazy things I’ve noted in online business, including six figure success, and that post hit a nerve.
But one thing I heard over and over is that it resonated with many of you because you’re so tired of feeling like you’re doing “it” wrong. Your business, your marketing, your way of doing things (which actually are very aligned for you) feel wrong when judged by a particular set of standards.
The truth? That set of standards or modus operandi is wrong for many of us, and until we try doing things our way, we’re simply not going to know. And until we try a few things on for size that really don’t work, we won’t know either.
You’re not doing things all wrong. No one is. You’re learning and growing and evolving. You’re testing. Correcting. Tweaking. Fine-tuning.
This is ALL part of the gig, so when you’re feeling all kinds of wrong, even for a split second as you scroll through your Facebook feed, remember this – there is no wrong. Even the wrongs get you to the right.
Drop the judgments, go a little easier on yourself, and focus on these things instead:
#1. Tapping Into Your Special Something
We’re approaching after school special territory here, I know. But this little nugget that your mama, favorite teacher or other important person drilled into your head applies to your business, too.
And with good reason: skills are learnable and highly commoditized. So as a copywriter or designer or jewelry maker, the only difference you’ve got is you. People hire you for you first and your skills second. So if they don’t like you and don’t connect with you, it’s not going to happen.
Which is why we all need to stop trying to be something we’re not or creating this ridiculous smoke and mirrors image. Showing up as you are with exactly how you can serve NOW, no apologies, is what’s most important.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, amplify what you do have. Communicate and show up in a way that works for you.
A Perfect example is a rather long conversation I had with friend earlier this week about where our personal/professional line is. In a world full of social media and Periscoping and endless “look at me” moments, it’s easy to feel like you need to broadcast your life.
For me, that’s not the way I roll. It makes me exceedingly uncomfortable to put my family in the spotlight or to dig deeply into parts of my life. Could I share them? Yes. Would more people connect with me? Likely. But I’d feel like a big old bag of crap and anxious as hell.
Great for some people, but it doesn’t just work for me. In the past I’ve had friends and colleagues suggest that stems from a lack of confidence or that I’m simply hiding. Not true, not even for a split second.
After years of struggling with this and wondering if there was something wrong with me, thanks to the Fascination Advantage System I have an answer. (If you’re not familiar with this branding/communication personality test, you need to check it out. It can be extremely eye opening!)
My primary advantage is Innovation (the language of ideas) and my secondary is Mystique, which is the language of listening. Mystique personalities tend to be understated and when they speak, they want it to be thoughtful and meaningful. In other words, I’m not built with the celebrity gene. I’m happy to do my thing, share my ideas and do it well, but only do it when it’s helpful and not just for entertainment purposes.
#2. Know that “Rules” are Made to be Broken
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I’m going to say it again. This cookie cutter/template/formula crap is just that – crap.
Think of these things as a starting point and then see what works for you. Not every single rule or concept is going to work for your business model or personal style, or even be right for your customers. And trying to contort your business to fit into a round hole when you’re a square peg is going to make for needless discomfort and drama.
You built a business to do things your way, so why are you torturing yourself by following a laundry list of rules?
Some rules, guidelines and best practices are going to work, some aren’t – and that’s all good. It’s your job to distill that down into your own version of success and make them your own. The key here is to be open to the rules and then break them, not just throw them all out at once.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Break the biz rules, just don’t fall victim to special snowflake syndrome.” quote=”Break the biz rules, just don’t fall victim to special snowflake syndrome.”]
Breaking rules is 100% encouraged, but don’t go breaking all of them to prove a point. I’ve seen one too many business owners delude themselves into eschewing all conventional wisdom in an effort to be a special snowflake and have it backfire.
Being so hell bent that you’re different and deciding that everyone else out there is doing it wrong doesn’t make you innovative or edgy. It makes you deranged, because you’re going to drive yourself into the ground trying to get where you want to go.
There’s always a lesson to be learned from those who come before us, so check your ego. See where you can dig in and use their successes to help you grow or find a new way of doing things.
#3. Please Sit Down
Take off your shoes and sit down. It’s far too easy to get swept away in a sea of negative self-talk and shoulds, and then you’re all tied up in knots.
You’re not wrong. But you may need to sit down and take a chill pill so you’re in the right frame of mind. Close down social media and get focused back on yourself. What’s your why, your goals, and your way of doing things?
The 24/7 always on, always connected way of online business is a massive problem and it holds us back in so many ways. It makes us feel bad when there’s really NO reason to be.
If you find yourself getting into this frame of mind, disengage. It’s the fastest route to ensuring you can keep your eyes on your own paper and not feel wrong about things that are perfectly fine.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Stay sane in the world of online biz by keeping your eyes on your own paper (New blog post)” quote=”Stay sane in the world of online biz by keeping your eyes on your own paper (New blog post)”]
Know it happens to ALL of us, but it’s up to us to learn how to deal with it. I’ve taken great care to unsubscribe, stop following and more to protect myself from those things that trigger me. Learn what triggers you and makes you feel less than, or worst like you want to throw in the towel or just throw up.
We’ve got limited time to work on our business, so stop wasting your time with things that make you feel like you’re doing it wrong. Find content and people who lift you up and make you better is a far better use of your precious time. Hone in on what works for you and how you can best serve and you’ll be well on your way.
What things do you feel like you’re doing wrong? How do you cope with them?